The Next Best Thing to Mommy

All three of my boys have had or still have a second mommy.

This second mommy takes over for me when they are napping, long car rides, or at nighttime.  It follows them to sleepovers, and on vacations.  It makes them feel safe, secure, and loved until I come into their rooms with a smile, open arms and a smothering of kisses.

These second mommy’s are my children’s lovies.

Big T who is now eight just bravely gave up his lovey this year.  It started out as a thermal baby blanket that was sky blue in color.  It ended as a white fabric rendition of a massive spider web.  I’m not kidding!  It had so many holes and rips in it that we were throwing it away piece by piece.  Finally this summer, Big T took it upon himself to throw away the last peace.  And he cried about it.  He was so sad to have to give up his second mom lovey.  But he’s past that now…he’s growing up. 

His little brothers still have theirs.

Sweet Pea has a lovey that is very near and dear to him.  He HAS to sleep with him during his naps and at night.  He even tucks him in right next to his head.  If his nose isn’t right he will yank on it to fix it so that “he can breathe better.”  He talks to him like he is a person and never ever goes without giving kisses and hugs to him multiple times a day.  For years he pretended to be his lovey's mommy.  Just recently he realized that only girls could be mommy’s so he changed to being his lovey’s daddy.  Everyone, I’d like to introduce you to Bay Bear:

Bay Bear doesn’t just have a special place in Sweet Pea’s heart; he also has a special place in mine, because of when and where Bay Bear came into our lives.  All of us first met Bay Bear in the hospital when Sweet Pea was born.  He was a gift to Sweet Pea from his big brother and the very first gift Sweet Pea ever received.  Big T was very proud to be a big brother and he was VERY excited to give his new baby brother a gift.  From that moment on, Bay Bear was always in Sweet Pea’s bed to provide love, comfort, and safety.  Big T made sure of it! 

So to say Bay Bear is special is an understatement! 

Buggy’s second mommy is one that was given to us by a family friend before he was born.  The two weren’t introduced until Buggy went into his crib at 3 months of age, but ever since then it has been a match made in heaven.  His second mommy is currently named Lovey Bunny until he has the words to name his lovey himself.  Without further ado…here he is:

Half Stuffed Bunny, half blanket and ALL LOVE.  Buggy loves to hold his ears, to roll them in between his fingers.  Not his arms or the blanket part…his ears.  Buggy is not at the point where he has to have him in the car, in the shopping car, or in the bathtub with him (yet).  But he absolutely cannot rock or sleep without him.

I am extremely thankful for my children’s second mommys.  For the warmth, the softness, and the security they give my children when I’m not there.  It is because of them my children are able to sleep soundly and peacefully.  It’s because of them that I get a break during their naps, and don’t have to run into the boys’ bedrooms 17 times a night (I don’t know where I got the number 17, just go with it).

But mostly, I’m thankful for the memories they are giving my children, and for the memories they are giving me.

Does your child have a lovey? 

I’m linking up with my fabulous friend Christine at Quasi Agitato because she is hosting a linky about lovies.  Yeah, I know…she rocks!

Socially Challenged

Back in the day the words “Socially Challenged” would not be ones that I would use to describe myself.  I was always an extremely social person.  In school I was involved in sports, and choirs.  I sang in front of a stadium FULL of people in high school when our basketball team went to the state championships.  I was rarely home, I was always out doing something, somewhere with my friends.



After my school years I maintained my social abilities.  I was always able to talk to people, strangers, and clients.  I made new friends with my co-workers easily, we hung out a lot.  I was considered the closer in my office.  I could, as my dad put it “sell ice to Eskimos”. 



Once DH and I got married we made “couple” friends and had a blast.  Going out to dinners, having BBQ’s, going here and there, doing this and that. 



Fast forward to present day and I have to say I feel like a friggin hermit. 



I’m pretty sure the movement towards being socially challenged happened during my second pregnancy. 



You see, my first pregnancy was golden.  After a small bout of nausea for a few weeks in my first trimester I felt fantastic!  I had energy, even traveled to Hawaii with my family.  I felt “normal”. 



But with my second pregnancy, I was really sick up until 23 weeks.  I was nervous about going out and about because I never knew when it would hit.  And when it would hit, it would hit FAST!  So we stopped going to our friends houses as much because really, who wants to hear someone throwing up as the background music to a party?? 



My third pregnancy was more like my second but the sickness lasted even longer this time...27 weeks. 



So for about the last 6 years I feel like I’ve been house bound.  Other than taking the kids to school, and running errands we are here.  Unless we do the occasional outing to the zoo, aquarium, one of the boys friends birthday parties, etc. but again, that’s with and for children.  Which, let’s be clear I’m more than happy to do. 



These days if you put me in a room of children I am the bomb-diggity (did I SERIOUSLY just type that…I SO can’t pull that off…my apologies).  I can entertain, make them laugh, get their minds working and we all have a great time.



But put me in a room with adults, people my own age and one of two things happen.  I stay in the background and just watch all that’s going on…very wallflower’esque.  Or if I’m engaged in a conversation I will talk that poor person’s ear off and not let them get a word in edge wise because OH MY GOD I’m actually talking to an adult and I can’t remember the last time that happened so I have to get it all out before I have to go back to talking to children 99.9% of the time. 



I’m uncomfortable in situations that used to feel like home to me.  I get nervous instead of excited on the way to outings.  I worry more about what people will think of me and what I can contribute to a conversation than I ever have in my life.



It’s a strange dynamic.  One I’m working really hard to rectify.  I keep putting myself out there.  Accepting invitations to outings even if I think they will make me uncomfortable.  Joining groups and volunteering to help at the schools.



Because this mama really needs to get her social groove back in play.  Because this life as a hermit?  Totally not working for me.

Do you feel socially challenged sometimes?

The Blogging Bible for Newbies

If you blog and you are anything like me you started it to keep a written record of everything that happens with your children and family. I had people telling me “you should write this stuff down” or “you say some of the funniest things, you should really start a blog”. 

So I thought to myself…Why not?  It’s just like an online journal, what a fantastic way to share my voice and to chronicle all the happenings in your life while saving paper at the same time.  WIN-WIN-WIN!

So I hopped onto Blogger (because I thought that was the best place to start) and signed up for a free space.  Then BAM!  It hits me, I have to name this thing, choose a format, and design it.  “Okay, okay” I said to myself, “you can do this…no reason to panic…yet”.

But as I started navigating the blogosphere, I started to realize that there are some fantastic blogs out there.  I don’t want to compete with them by any means because my blog is mine and mine alone.  But I’d like it to look awesome, and I would love for it to draw more attention like some other blogs out there. 

Then the questions in my head started.  But how did they get that fantastic header?  How did they create those nifty buttons?  How in the WORLD did they generate all that traffic and get all those followers?

So I set on a quest to make my blog better.  But where to start?  There is SO much information out there.  Too much for me.  I have three boys and don’t have time to filter all of the websites to find the exact information I’m looking for. 

Thankfully, I don’t have to spend hours upon hours doing the research.  Because Melissa at www.momcomm.com  has created a FABULOUS DIY Blog Critique eBook.  How cool is that?  All that searching online done for you and put together in one easy place?  Yes please!

 

People, let me tell you.  As a newbie blogger this eBook has it ALL!  From designing your blog to make it stand out, to understanding what the heck a SEO is (yeah, I’m still working on that one myself), and even content.

When I started blogging I had no idea that it only took three seconds for someone to form an opinion about my blog space or that “your header is the most important branding element on your blog…It’s a powerhouse that holds your name, tagline and visual identity all in one spot”. (page 12)  The great news is that with this eBook I now know the keys and tricks to make my blog design and header POP!  Not to mention how to find rocking social media buttons and how to make my very own blog badge (currently in the works here at Staying Afloat).

There are things in the blogosphere like site navigation and SEO that I’m still trying to figure out.  But I’m thankful to have this eBook to use as a reference and quite frankly a dictionary because I’m telling you I had no idea what a SEO was, let alone what it stands for.  For those of you that are like me it stands for Search Engine Optimization.  Don’t worry, with this eBook you don’t need to be the next Bill Gates to understand SEO, it gives you the basics.  Which is exactly what I needed. 

We all want to be good hosts to the visitors of our bloggy home so we want to make it easy to find things, easy to get around and easy for our visitors to give bloggy love.   And this eBook tells you just how to do it. 

Content.  My words, my thoughts, my feelings…that’s what blogging is all about for me.  But I also don’t want to feel like I am the only one out there feeling this way, or thinking these thoughts.  So I definitely want to connect with my readers.  Through the DIY Blog Critique eBook, I’ve realized that I need to tell my readers something about me and the purpose of my blog in an “About Me” page.  It’s kind of nice to get to know the person behind the words.  I’ve also learned that if I want to eventually branch out into working with brands, I need to say so right there on my blog.  There’s no way people will know otherwise. 

There is so much in the blogosphere that can make your head spin.  Melissa’s DIY Blog Critique eBook is a fantastic tool to help stop the spinning, and give you a step by step, easy to understand process to take your blood, sweet and tears…your blog, to everything you’ve ever wanted it to be.  Which is why I think it should be in the hands of every new blogger out there.  It is what I consider to be the Blogging Bible for Newbies.

*Disclaimer: I was given a copy of the DIY Blog Critique eBook for review.  All opinions, thoughts and words are my own. 

Life Lessons: The Little Things

It has been a rather tough and draining week here on the testosterone sea. 

There have been more battles than normal with the boys over silly things which have tried this mommy’s patience.

There has been a TON of things on the “to-do” list. Enough to make this mommy’s head spin.

But I’ve also learned some things.

1)       Even if things are rough, sometimes all it takes is a little thing to help you make it through.

2)      Like a smile, kiss or a snuggling session with Buggy.

3)      Or an “I love you the mostest because you are my mommy and the bestest mommy EVER” from Sweet Pea

4)      Sunshine in Fall goes a long way to help my mood.

5)      Or a shoulder rub given by my husband.

6)      A empty house for a whole hour while my husband takes Big T to soccer practice and offers to take all the boys with him to give me a bit of peace and quiet…ahhhh.

7)      Or a nature walk with the boys after school.

8)      Having my Starbucks coffee in my hand before 10am helps to move the day in a positive direction. 

9)      So does a phone call with a girlfriend where we can praise each other for our accomplishments or commiserate with each other over our frustrations.

10)    Or when my mom calls out of the blue and invites me down to watch a “chick flick” and have dinner and wine with her.  Then everything seems more manageable somehow.

What little things help you get through a rough day/week?

Semi- Wordless Wednesday ~ Beam Me BACK Scotty!

Beam me back HERE...

For this...

With this...

Or this...

With this...

And perhaps this...

And end it with this...

Wailea, Maui Hawaii you ARE perfection.

Thank you for the memories, can't wait to be wrapped in your warmth and beauty once again.

{Linking up for Wordless Wednesday with By Word Of Mouth Musings , Merry With Children , Angry Julie Monday and  Live and Love...Outloud}

Packages

The saying goes “Good things come in small packages.” And they do, they really REALLY do.  Anything that comes wrapped in a small square, or rectangle box makes any girl’s eyes start to twinkle.

But good things also come in extremely large packages. 

At least it did for me--once.

It was the summer before my senior year.  It was filled with volleyball at the beach, basking in the sun, and time making memories with friends.  It was one of those summers where I didn’t have a care in the world.

One day in August, some girlfriends and I decided to get some ice cream at our local Baskin N’ Robbins and we took my younger brother with us.  After filling up on too much Cookie Dough Ice Cream we went back to my house to do something, or get something…I don’t remember.

As we were leaving in my friend’s car and heading up the steep hill that we lived on I remembered that I forgot that I told my mom I would drop some clothing off at the dry cleaners that day for her.  I told my friend who was driving a 5 speed stick shift that we had to go around the block because I forgot something at the house.  She decided it would be quicker to just back down the hill. 

Instead of putting the stick shift into Reverse, she put it into neutral.  We started backing down the hill and the car started going too fast.  My friend got scared, slammed her foot on the brake which caused them to lock up.  We swerved (did I mention we were going backwards?) and the back tires hit the curb directly across the street from our driveway. 

When the tires hit we were going at a fast enough speed that the car flipped up (we were literally sitting on our rear bumper) and started falling backwards.  Thankfully there was a line of holly trees that slowed our speed some.  I remember the holly branches coming in the windows of the car and immediately taking residence inside the entire cab.  The roof of the car hit the holly tree, taking it out by the roots and then the car fell to the ground.  By the guidance of the holly tree and goodness knows what else, the cab of the car miraculously landed into a rockery bank in our neighbors’ yard.  A rockery bank that just so happened to fit the cab of the car perfectly.  A rockery bank that if the car had moved an inch either way would have smashed the car and everything in it, flat as a pancake.

But it didn’t.  It held the car up, which gave us a space that was only a foot high on one side for all four of us to crawl on our hands and knees over broken glass out of. 

Surviving that accident was a gift.  A gift that was wrapped in bent metal, broken glass, and prickly holly branches.  But it was the greatest gift of my life because it allowed me to receive so many other wonderful, breathtaking, and life changing gifts ever since that summer’s day. The most important of these are:

The gift of my best friend and the love of my life, who did me the honor of becoming my husband.

The gift of the three beautiful boys we created together.

The gift of memories we create as a family each and every day.

On that fateful day I was given the gift of time.

So while I absolutely adore things that come in small neatly wrapped beautiful packages. 

I have a soft place in my heart for the one package that was given to me that was wrapped in dirt, stone, twisted metal, skin cutting glass shards and prickly holly leaves. 

For it gave me this, it gave me my life as I know it today, and I am forever grateful.

Linking up with LaurenNicole Gifts talking about the BEST gift you’ve ever received.

Sunday Sweetness ~ One of The Sweetest Sounds

In a house with three very active boys, there is a LOT of noise.  So much sometimes the walls shake, and my eyelids twitch. 

Right now I have baby noises, 5 year old noises, and 8 year old noises in my house.  Combine them together it is like an orchestra that is completely out of sync with each other which results in the patrons asking for their money back.

Big T is in a phase.  My extremely literal everything-is-black-and-white-so-don’t-show me-any-gray son is catching an attitude.  I don’t know who he caught it from, but we’d like to give it back ASAP.  He’s testing his big 8 year old boundaries and his mother’s patience.  But that is a post for another time, or it could possibly be a book.  Only time will tell.

But I have to say that there are things that are said and/or done by my 8 year old that is music to my ears.  I’m not kidding.  It’s the kind of sound that creates a heart-swelling-with-pride-and-happiness feeling.

Since Big T has been back at school, he comes home, has his snack, does whatever homework needs to be done (if any), and then can’t wait to get his nose into a book.  Pure heaven!  Not for the fact that he is reading to himself quietly…okay, I’m not going to lie…that is a HUGE bonus.  But for the sheer fact that he is reading and it isn’t a battle to get him to do it.

But the sweetest sound that Big T is making these days isn’t just reading.  It’s that he is reading to his brothers.  It makes my jaw drop when he actually asks to read to Sweet Pea.  The very brother he has just spent the last two hours trying to get away from OR trying to pummel into the ground. 

But with books, they are on the same team.  Big T loves to read, and Sweet Pea loves to hear the stories.  Sweet Pea is focused and absolutely captivated when his brother reads to him.

In fact, since Big T started reading to Sweet Pea (and occasionally Buggy if he will sit still long enough…fat chance) not only has his reading improved a ton, but now I find Sweet Pea sitting on the couch trying his very best to read to himself.  Can you feel my mommy heart swelling with pride?

That sound, the sound of my oldest son reading to his younger siblings.  That is the sound I’m choosing to hold onto this week.  The one I’m choosing to remember and the sound that I will never let go of.  Because there is seriously nothing sweeter to my mommy ears, and that’s what life is about….remembering its sweetness.    

What is your “sweetness” from this past week?