Saturday, August 20, 2011

It's Starting

The awkwardness, the silliness, the “I have no idea how to act when I’m around them so I’m just going to act like a doofus” behavior.

Where has the time gone? He’s 8, only 8, and it’s starting. I’ve seen the slow progression of transition, from not paying any mind, to actually starting to notice. The “oh they are just other kids” to the “sure they are kids, but they are different than I am”.

It’s the realization that girls really are a bit different than boys. And I think the curiosity of it all has dropped his IQ by a few points….at least!

It’s innocent to be sure because he hasn’t made the connection yet that boys really DO like girls. He’s just starting to realize that girls are different. I’ve personally witnessed a few (I don’t know if you would call them crushes, this mom certainly isn’t ready for that), girls that have caught his eye for one reason or another and his behavior changes immediately…and not for the better. He watches them like a hawk, wanting to interact, waiting for his moment to enter into a conversation, and then once he gets chance he turns into a kid I’ve never seen before.

My eight year old, who spoke his first word at 6 months and hasn’t stopped since, is now babbling, and making up words when he is around girls. He can’t put a sentence together for the life of him. So his “go to” secondary response is babbling followed by doing some kind of strange tribal-like dance as he walks away from them. Oh and if that doesn’t spike the girls interest enough to make her follow him (because who wouldn’t want to follow a babbling tribal boy?) he will come back and start talking like he knows everything about everything. Boasting about the simplest things like how many soccer balls he has (not even going to let my mind go to what Mr. Sigmund Freud would think), or how high he can swing on the swing. How far he can hit a baseball, and if all else fails he starts bragging about what his parents can do.

I never understood why boys acted so WEIRD around girls when I was little. I couldn’t figure out how they could be having normal conversations about toys, sports and only God knows what else when they are in a group to themselves but then you throw a girl into the mix, or even if a girl just walks by, and their minds immediately turn to mush.

Now that I’m a mom to boys, do you know what? I STILL don’t have a clue as to why they act like a doofus around girls. My first guess is that it is nerves. What they have to be nervous about at the tender age of 8, I have no clue, but they are. Couple the feeling of nervousness with the need to show off for some odd reason and you’ve got your child looking like some male bird squawking and doing a silly dance flapping its wings just to get the female bird to notice them. While that technique may work on bird, it sure makes girls go…HUH??

Being the mom I try to tell him to just be himself, not to get nervous, be confident that he is a great kid with a lot to contribute to a conversation, to which his response is “I’m NOT nervous…geeeeesh MOM” so there again I’m confused. If he isn’t nervous and trying to prove something then what is he? Cute, that’s exactly what he is!

As a child I thought what boys did to get girls attention was annoying, rude and obnoxious. As a mom, I think it’s adorable and fun to watch. I also find myself wishing I knew I had that kind of power when I was a little girl. Oh the fun I would have had with the babbling, wing flapping boys that roamed the playground back in the day!!

Whatever it is, it’s fun to watch, and I take notes to make sure I recall these moments when he and his lovely wife come over for dinner one evening.

What do you think makes a boy’s behavior change when they are around girls?

30 comments:

Mandi said...

I LOVE this post! My oldest is 7, and he's still mostly in the place where girls are just other kids...except for this one girl that has been in his class since kindergarten and happens to live on our street. When she's around he fluctuates between smacking himself in the head and falling on the ground, and proclaiming his love for her to anyone listening in a completely creepy stalker way, to which she never responds. Poor girl. I love how the boys start "peacocking" at such a young age! Wish me luck, I have no idea what second grade has in store for us and he starts next Monday. I'll let you know if he starts going tribal like your boy. Haha

Hopes@Staying Afloat! said...

Mandi,

Thanks for coming back!

Good Luck!! Keep me posted on how your little man does. I'm very interested to see if it is just my guy or little boys in general.

Alison@Mama Wants This said...

Haha that IS adorable. Now that I'm a grown up and a mom.

I remember boys being extremely annoying when I was about 11, 12, and it did not occur to me that they were anything but annoying. I guess they were just peacocking, eh?

mommyfriend said...

YES!!!!! My son is 8 too and I'm like, "Dude, what's wrong with you?" around girls. Here we go Mama, hugs!

Rach (DonutsMama) said...

Interesting. You know, this weird boy behavior must just be in male DNA!

Poppy said...

At 8, really? I don't think my daughter noticed boys until she was 11, but now at 13 she won't even check the mail if her hair isn't perfect.

Hopes@Staying Afloat! said...

Alison,

It's so fun to see things from the mommy perspective isn't it? I totally remember boys being annoying. Teasing, snapping my bra, etc. Big T hasn't reached that stage just yet, but I can see the writing on the wall and it won't be long.

Hopes@Staying Afloat! said...

Mommyfriend,

Thank you so very much for coming by my itty-bitty bloggy space and commenting! I'm truly honored!

I'm glad to hear that your 8 year old son is doing the same thing. It's nice to know I'm not alone. Care to sit back, share a bottle of wine and watch the show? Should be an interesting one in the next few years!

Hope to see you around here again soon!

Hopes@Staying Afloat! said...

Rach,

I think you may just be onto something there. Although I don't know if I would go and tell guys that. The last thing they need is another excuse/reason for their doofus behavior! They'd start using it left and right! HA!

Hopes@Staying Afloat! said...

Poppy,

Thank you for coming by and commenting! It means a lot to me!

Thankfully at 8 he is only noticing that girls are different than he is. Not that they are "cute", although I'm sure it won't be long.

Come back and visit again soon!

vinobaby said...

Oh my, be glad it's only just starting now. My almost 8-yr-old was engaged at 4. He still gets major crushes and talks regularly with his "girlfriend" down the street about "after they get married." His only problem now is that the girls are starting to think boys are yucky and his feelings keep getting hurt.

Why does it have to start so early?

Good luck to you!

Hopes@Staying Afloat! said...

Vinobaby,

Don't hate me, but I think those early marriages and loves are SO adorable!

I wonder if the reason girls think boys are yucky is because they act like a doofus around them?

I have no idea why it has to start so early though. I wish that it would have started in a few years rather than now.

By Word of Mouth Musings said...

LOL my 13 yr old could not care less about the boys and doesn't think she ever wants one ;)
my 9 yr old, thinks every boy has a crush on her at each sideways glance ...
its too late for a little boy for me, but since my husband never really grew up - i am good ;)

ack, girlfriend, take off the captcha!

Hopes@Staying Afloat! said...

By Word of Mouth Musings,

A wonderful lady once told me that if you just assume your husband doesn't mature past 15 years of age you will have a happy marriage! LOL!

Help a newbie out...what is a captcha, and how do I take it off??

Bees With Honey said...

I think it's because they ARE nervous. They like a girl and they feel a bit unsure of themselves so they act funny and try to make the girls laugh.

My 5 year-old acts all silly and babbles when she gets around her friends. She's become the clown because she's discovered acting silly makes her friend laugh. She's the brightest girl ever and could hold down an intelligent conversation for only being 5 but get her in front of her girlfriends and they all act all silly.

Hopes@Staying Afloat! said...

Bees With Honey,

I agree! It's got to be nerves!

It's almost like watching a little kids play unfold isn't it? SO CUTE! I love watching them figuring life out!

Liz said...

I think I'd be caught between wanting to giggle at the cuteness and wanting to cringe at the thought that boy-girl issues were now a very real part of life!

Hopes@Staying Afloat! said...

Liz,

Exactly! It's another balancing act of motherhood. Right now, I'm choosing to giggle. I'm sure I'll do plenty of cringing in just a few short years!

Ali - My Suitcase Full of Tricks said...

Oh yeah. Ryan had a girl he liked in first grade. TOTALLY smitten. But I thought the doofus behavior was just a result of his father's DNA. Thanks for clearing that up for me :)

tracy@sellabitmum said...

So funny, my daughter is 8 and there is a boy that really likes her. I asked her how she knew he liked her and she said "because he acts completely weird when he's around me." It seems like a strange mating call. How are we attracted to that?

Hopes@Staying Afloat! said...

Ali,

I think DNA totally has a part to play in the doofus-ness.

Hopes@Staying Afloat! said...

Tracy,


We aren't attracted to that. That's why we always say that boys are gross and strange at this age. Because they ARE! We don't get attracted until the teen years, but I for the life of me can't tell you why.

Hope you come back again soon. I love having you here!

Stasha said...

Oh my, I never thought of it this way. I am now a mom of a boy that will sooner or later annoy another woman's daughter. I must go lay down.
Lovely post, your words float so nicely.

Jessica said...

My daughter turns 8 in a couple months and this post makes me scared for her to start 2nd grade. I'm not ready for the boys and he likes me stuff. Can't we press a button to pause this until they are older?

mamamash said...

This is HILARIOUS. I have this awesome mental picture of him being eloquent in the classroom and then gibbering and convulsing when the girls talk to him. Poor guy, his brain is just on overload!

Hopes@Staying Afloat! said...

Stasha,

That thought is overwhelming isn't it? And it makes me want to fix it so he's not "that" boy that a little girl is telling her mother "who is SO GROSS" or "SO SILLY' or SO STRANGE." But I have no idea how to do it.

But right now it is fun to watch.

Thank you so much for the compliment. Coming from you, it means so very much!

Hopes@Staying Afloat! said...

Jessica,

I think your sweet daughter is safe for now. I don't think at this age boys KNOW that they like girls, they just KNOW that girls are different. My son doesn't tell the girls he likes them, he just acts like a doofus. But I'm sure Miss Fancy Pants is smart enough to know what that means!

I'm all for the pause button. Now, where to find it is the question.

Hopes@Staying Afloat! said...

mamamash,

That's just about it. He's very sweet, kind and well spoken in class...but get him in a crowd that even has one girl in it and it's doofus city! LOL!!! I should really take some video and show it to him later in life!

Tina @ Life Without Pink said...

My 5 yr old already gets like this...and it's just beginning for me!

Hopes@Staying Afloat! said...

Tina,

Uh-oh! You're in for a ride then huh? I guess as a mom to boys all we can do is make sure they have confidence enough to actually speak to girls rather than fluttering around! It definitely a work in progress here at my house! Most of the time, I just sit back and watch it all unfold...trying not to laugh!

Thanks so much for coming by and commenting! It means the world to me that you would visit my space in the blogosphere!