After my school years I maintained my social abilities. I was always able to talk to people, strangers, and clients. I made new friends with my co-workers easily, we hung out a lot. I was considered the closer in my office. I could, as my dad put it “sell ice to Eskimos”.
Once DH and I got married we made “couple” friends and had a blast. Going out to dinners, having BBQ’s, going here and there, doing this and that.
Fast forward to present day and I have to say I feel like a friggin hermit.
I’m pretty sure the movement towards being socially challenged happened during my second pregnancy.
You see, my first pregnancy was golden. After a small bout of nausea for a few weeks in my first trimester I felt fantastic! I had energy, even traveled to
But with my second pregnancy, I was really sick up until 23 weeks. I was nervous about going out and about because I never knew when it would hit. And when it would hit, it would hit FAST! So we stopped going to our friends houses as much because really, who wants to hear someone throwing up as the background music to a party??
My third pregnancy was more like my second but the sickness lasted even longer this time...27 weeks.
So for about the last 6 years I feel like I’ve been house bound. Other than taking the kids to school, and running errands we are here. Unless we do the occasional outing to the zoo, aquarium, one of the boys friends birthday parties, etc. but again, that’s with and for children. Which, let’s be clear I’m more than happy to do.
These days if you put me in a room of children I am the bomb-diggity (did I SERIOUSLY just type that…I SO can’t pull that off…my apologies). I can entertain, make them laugh, get their minds working and we all have a great time.
But put me in a room with adults, people my own age and one of two things happen. I stay in the background and just watch all that’s going on…very wallflower’esque. Or if I’m engaged in a conversation I will talk that poor person’s ear off and not let them get a word in edge wise because OH MY GOD I’m actually talking to an adult and I can’t remember the last time that happened so I have to get it all out before I have to go back to talking to children 99.9% of the time.
I’m uncomfortable in situations that used to feel like home to me. I get nervous instead of excited on the way to outings. I worry more about what people will think of me and what I can contribute to a conversation than I ever have in my life.
It’s a strange dynamic. One I’m working really hard to rectify. I keep putting myself out there. Accepting invitations to outings even if I think they will make me uncomfortable. Joining groups and volunteering to help at the schools.
Because this mama really needs to get her social groove back in play. Because this life as a hermit? Totally not working for me.
Do you feel socially challenged sometimes?