Saturday, July 2, 2011

Gonna Try For A Girl???

Why is it that when you are walking through a crowded public place like the mall with all of your children and its all you can do to make sure one isn’t left behind, or snatched up by a stranger, and you’ve stopped because one of your children lost his shoe 4 stores back, it is at that very moment that perfect strangers decide they are your best friends and feel comfortable coming up to you to ask “So, are you gonna try for a girl?”

I’ve heard them all and quite frankly they used to hurt.  They would make me feel like I was an anomaly, like I was a person with three eyes, rather than just a mom with three boys.  That it is just UNHEARD of to have a family with all boys in it and no *GASP* girls!!!  Then, for my own sanity I learned to look at the comments differently.  And do you know what?  It’s actually worked.  Here are some that I hear almost every single time I head out with all my children in tow.  There’s the “HOLY COW you are a busy mom” which is really starting to get old.  Moms in general are busy, but thank you for wasting my time and pointing out the obvious.  There’s the “OH MY, how do you manage?”  A general question that is asked with complete lack of tact or decorum so I have since decided to use that opportunity to explain how I, Superwoman manage three boys all while leaping tall buildings in a single bound and still being able to change diapers when needed and feed them three square meals a day.  Then there’s the “I have one boy at home, I don’t know HOW you handle three!”  To which I think to myself, it sounds like the problem is with you and not your son…but what I actually say is something more along the lines of “it sounds like you have an active boy on your hands.” 

Then there are the comments that dive into the realm of complete stupidity and tastelessness.  For example, I’ve heard this one on more than one occasion “WOW!  Were you trying for a girl and just didn’t get one?”  Yes, that’s it Einstein, my husband and I set up a class for the X and Y chromosomes with strict instructions to ONLY let the X chromosomes reach the egg, and some silly Y failed the class miserably.  THAT is how we ended up with three boys.  Finally, I’ve heard the passive aggressive comment that is “Good luck with that”.  Why thank you very much I do consider myself extremely lucky and how kind of you to notice.

But for some reason, the comment “Are you going to try for a girl?” gets under my skin more than the others.  As if to imply that my life isn’t complete if I don’t have a little girl, or that it is missing an important element. Would I have liked to have a little girl.  Absolutely.  For two main reasons:  1) I have a great relationship with my mother and it would have been wonderful to experience being on the mother side of that kind of relationship and 2) After raising a boy, it would have been nice to experience the difference in raising a girl.   I understand the desire to have both, I really do.  BUT that doesn’t make me ungrateful for the three, gorgeous, kind, intelligent, loving boys that I have been blessed with.  I quite frankly wouldn’t have it any other way.

So let me just put this out there once and for all, for everyone to hear: this baby factory is closed for business forever!!  We are very happy, content and blessed with the family we have created.  So if a perfect stranger asks me “are you gonna try for a girl” my response is simply “are you going to make her, and carry her for me?  Because I’ve perfected the art of making gorgeous boys and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

16 comments:

Marcsbride said...

I get the exact same thing, only opposite! Even with the baby being 2, people still ask me if we're going to try for the boy and one woman had the audacity to tell me, in front of my 3 girls, that she would cry if she had only girls, because boys are so much better. What on earth is wrong with people?
I feel the same way about the comments. Do people really think my life is less fulfilled because I don't have a son? Would I have liked to have one? Yes. As silly as it sounds, it makes me feel a little sad that I'll never have a mother/son dance, but do I feel like I'm not fulfilled? Not at all.
Like you, this baby factory is closed and I am totally stealing your line the next time some doofus asks me about it.

Ronlyn said...

My response of maniacal laughter followed by "God no!" always shuts people up. LOL

Cherry said...

You're fabulous Superwoman!!!! xoxo

Kirsten said...

I have three girls. And usually I get the shock over how I'm going to make it through puberty. And my honest answer? Booze. Heh.

Also, I pat the smallest on the head and say "last ditch effort here for a boy...no luck. We were meant to have girls."

I'm a fan of agreeing with stupid people who throw out insulting comments about things. It throws them off. And I get a giggle.

I, too, would have liked to have a boy to know what it was like to raise a boy instead of a girl...but this factory is C-L-O-S-E-D.

Galit Breen said...

Love it lady! Sometimes you just have to put it all out there!

Hopes@Staying Afloat! said...

Kristen,

Thank you so much for visiting and commenting! I truly appreciate it!

It's amazing the things people will say when they see a mom with all same sex children isn't it?

Hopes@Staying Afloat! said...

Galit,

Thank you sweetie! I agree, sometimes you do just have to put it all out there! Strangers are just SO rude sometimes. I would never dream of saying some of the things that have been said to me to perfect strangers.

Elaine A. said...

I REALLY don't get the whole "gee, you must be SO busy, how old are they, OMYGOD how do you do it?!?!?!" comments. And a lot of times it comes from older ladies so I think, "Didn't you do this too and survive?? Geez, what's the big damn deal?" HA HA!

And when I was pregnant with K people (STRANGERS!) would say to me, "Oh I sure hope there's a girl in there!"

WHY? Why do you hope that? I just hoped for a healthy baby no matter what.

I have promised myself NOT to say things like this to others when I am older or even now. I hope I can keep that promise!

Thanks for linking up today!! xo

Victoria KP said...

LOL! I have two boys and get the same question ALL THE TIME! My latest answer is, "Nope. I enjoy being queen of the castle."

Hopes@Staying Afloat! said...

Elaine,

People really are brazen aren't they? I have no idea what makes them think it is okay to say such ridiculous things!

Thanks for putting up the link! I'm loving all the new reads I've found through it!

Hopes@Staying Afloat! said...

Victoria,

Thank you so much for stopping by and commenting! I truly appreciate it.

Being queen is GOOD!!! I wouldn't trade it for the world!

Hope you come back and visit again soon!

Liz (Loving Mom 2 Boys) said...

You know its funny - when I was pregnant with #3 people would constantly ask me if we were hoping for a girl, as if having boys wasn't enough. Or now they ask if "now that you have are girl are you done?" as if we would have had 14 boys in hopes for that elusive daughter. Its amazing what people will say!!

Honestly I LOVE being a mother to sons - boys are so different from girls I adore them!! And now that I have a daughter I adore her too - and I am happy I have a daughter, but honestly 3 boys, 3 girls, a happy combination, really doesn't matter right?!

thisgalsjourney said...

We got the reverse (gonna try for a boy?) when we just had our two girls. "ummm, no, we're done" was my response. When God thought it would be funny yo give us a third baby, we got the "you must really be hoping for a boy, huh??" ALL the time. I was actually afraid of having a boy b/c I was so used to girls. Now that we actually HAVE a boy, we get the "you must be so happy yo have a boy!" when really, I'm just ecstatic to have 3 happy, healthy children!

thisgalsjourney said...

Oh, yeah, and now we also get "so, gonna try for another boy to even it out??" ugh!!!

Hopes@Staying Afloat! said...

Liz,

Thank you so very much for stopping by and commenting.

I am always amazed at what people have the nerve to say.

I love being a boy mom, and I dont' know why that is so hard for people to understand sometimes.

Hope you visit again soon!

Hopes@Staying Afloat! said...

thisgalsjourney,

Thank you so very much for stopping by and commenting. I really appreciate it! :)

People really say stupid things don't they? Why can't we just hear "oh you have such an adorable family" Is that too much to ask??

HA! Hope you visit again soon!